Let me start by stating that I recognize that this is a touchy subject, especially for those of you who are on birth control. My intentions are not to condemn anyone for their use of chemical contraceptives, but rather to shed some light on an issue that seems to be tucked away in the darkness. My prayer is that this would be read with both an open heart and an open mind, and that selfish desires and ungodly insecurities would be recognized and put to death. May we seek to be imitators of Christ in all we do, no matter how uncomfortable the decision.
The Journey
The Journey
My husband and I first started
looking into different methods of birth control after becoming engaged this
past summer. We are both in school full time so we thought it would be best to
wait a few years before having children. Most of the married
couples we knew were on some form of chemical birth control and we assumed we would be eventually as well. The pill seemed like the best option since it has one of the lowest failure
rates out of all contraceptive methods. As I began to research possible side effects of chemical contraceptives I already knew they
could cause moodiness, weight gain and lowered libido, but I had also heard stories from my mother about women she knew who had died from pill related blood clots. I
tried to brush the more severe side effects aside since they only affect a small percentage of women, but I still wasn't very comfortable with
the idea of pumping my body full of synthetic hormones on a daily basis.
If you don’t believe that life starts at conception then
miscarrying a zygote is probably a nonissue, but for those who believe
that life starts at conception this isn’t something that can just be
pushed aside. This is a big deal — a really big deal. Taking chemical birth control would mean gambling with human life. As I’m sure one can imagine,
I was a little distraught. Mark and I were not ready to have children and seeing as
condoms have nearly a 15-18% failure rate we didn’t see that as a very “safe”
method. I am ashamed to say it
now, but I found myself wishing there was a way to temporarily turn off my
fertility for a few years (because being fertile is such a curse, you know). Thankfully, one of my husband's ethics books mentioned
something called “Natural Family Planning” as a healthier and safer alternative to birth control. Mark and I were both skeptical assuming that NFP was nothing more than counting days like the "rhythm method," but we were also unwilling to
compromise our moral convictions, especially if it meant knowingly taking a
medication that may cause me to miscarry a child we had conceived.
Since NFP seemed like the only option we had left, Mark and I
decided to visit a free training class I found for us on this website with the Catholic Social Services. The class consisted almost entirely of engaged and married couples. It was really interesting, and at times humorous, to see all the men actively engaging in the class and asking questions about their wife's reproductive system and what they could could do to help her track her fertility. It caught me a little off guard, but in a good way.
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How It Works
How It Works
In short, NFP works by monitoring just a few simple signs: cervical mucus, the Luteinizing hormone (LH), and waking body temperature (also called basal body temperature). While it's hard to predict ovulation, monitoring these signs will allow you to pinpoint the fertile time of each cycle. To avoid pregnancy couples should abstain (or use non-chemical barrier contraceptives like condoms or diaphragms if desired) during this fertile window of 5-7 days.
Cervical Mucus
.
LH
Another way to predict ovulation is by observing the LH hormone. This is a hormone that is released 24-48 hours before ovulation and can be tested using an ovulation kit or fertility monitor. When LH is present, a woman can be sure that she will ovulate within the next day or so. This isn't necessary for all women (most women do fine by just observing cervical mucus), but a fertility monitor can be used as an extra precautionary to determine the fertile days.
BBT
After ovulation the body produces the hormone progesterone, which causes a rise in body temperature. Women should take and record their waking body temperature every morning; the day after ovulation there will be a significant rise in temperature allowing women to pinpoint when ovulation has occurred (see image). Since the egg released during ovulation usually only survives for 24 hours (48 at most) couples should consider the three days following ovulation to be fertile days. Waiting for three days also takes into consideration the possibility of
the woman’s ovary releasing a second egg. This is rare, but waiting the
entire three days ensures that there is no chance of conceiving.
(For more on how to chart and observe fertility signs click here.)
Sound like a lot of work? It's not, really; my daily NFP routine is actually quite easy. I take my temperature (orally!) every morning around the same time while lying in bed and then go straight back to sleep. Later I record my temperature on this (free) NFP app my doctor recommended. I also use the app to record all my other fertility signs that may be present throughout the day. There are only 3-4 days a month in which I test my LH levels with the help of my fertility monitor which takes all of 60 seconds. I input all the information on my iPod and let the app do all the charting for me. I can't imagine that doing any of this is any more inconvenient than remembering to take a pill. And even if it is, the benefits of using NFP rather than a hormonal contraceptive far outweigh what some might consider to be a slight inconvenience.
.
Mark and I have been practicing NFP for over a year now and love everything about it. I could go on and on about how great this decision has been for us as a couple, but for the sake of brevity I will just explain a couple of ways it has benefited us.
Aside from the most important benefit—avoiding abortifacients—NFP has really helped me maintain my overall health. Because I can physically see on my chart when I am under stress or dehydrated, I’ve been a lot more proactive about working out, eating right, and getting to bed at a decent hour because I can see how failing to do these things affects my cycle.
To my surprise, NFP has also helped me be a better steward of my time. During the week that I am fertile I spend more time studying, working and maintaining our home. I also try to let Mark work late these nights if he needs to. In fact, we both push ourselves a little harder during this time because being productive creates more free time to be with each other in the weeks to follow. We also spend more time with our friends during this week—I’ll get coffee with my girl friends and Mark gets to go out with the guys. NFP has definitely helped me manage our busy schedule.
A lot of people assume that couples that practice NFP have less sex than couples that use birth control. I can’t say for certain because I have never been on birth control, but there are several reasons why I think this is probably not the case. First, I know that charting makes me very aware of when and how often Mark and I are intimate. If we haven’t been together in a while, I know it because it’s on my chart and I see it every morning. Time flies for everyone, but it doesn’t seem to get away from us as much in this area. Charting has helped me to be more proactive about keeping things regular and often. Second, with NFP we are able to experience a “honeymoon” every month after our week of abstinence. Sometimes abstaining can be difficult, but we quickly learned that it is worth the wait.
There are also several great relational benefits to NFP, perhaps the biggest being better communication. Because pregnancy is a real possibility each month—not just some distant future idea—we discuss things like our finances, job insecurities, future goals, and fears quite often.
There are plenty of other benefits I could discuss. I could go on about how NFP has taught me that, opposed to what our culture has conditioned us to believe, it is possible for us to control our sexual desires. I could explain how NFP has taught me self-discipline, to love my husband better, and to be less selfish. It has helped me see how deeply Mark loves and respects me and has provided me with a way to do the same for him. It has changed the way I view marriage and children and has taught me to trust God more. For us, NFP has been about far more than avoiding dangerous chemicals; it’s been about loving each other better and growing in virtue. The relational, emotional, spiritual, and health benefits of NFP have been such a blessing to both of us that I can only hope others will soon catch on to what has been a life-changing decision.
.
Mark and I have been practicing NFP for over a year now and love everything about it. I could go on and on about how great this decision has been for us as a couple, but for the sake of brevity I will just explain a couple of ways it has benefited us.
Aside from the most important benefit—avoiding abortifacients—NFP has really helped me maintain my overall health. Because I can physically see on my chart when I am under stress or dehydrated, I’ve been a lot more proactive about working out, eating right, and getting to bed at a decent hour because I can see how failing to do these things affects my cycle.
To my surprise, NFP has also helped me be a better steward of my time. During the week that I am fertile I spend more time studying, working and maintaining our home. I also try to let Mark work late these nights if he needs to. In fact, we both push ourselves a little harder during this time because being productive creates more free time to be with each other in the weeks to follow. We also spend more time with our friends during this week—I’ll get coffee with my girl friends and Mark gets to go out with the guys. NFP has definitely helped me manage our busy schedule.
A lot of people assume that couples that practice NFP have less sex than couples that use birth control. I can’t say for certain because I have never been on birth control, but there are several reasons why I think this is probably not the case. First, I know that charting makes me very aware of when and how often Mark and I are intimate. If we haven’t been together in a while, I know it because it’s on my chart and I see it every morning. Time flies for everyone, but it doesn’t seem to get away from us as much in this area. Charting has helped me to be more proactive about keeping things regular and often. Second, with NFP we are able to experience a “honeymoon” every month after our week of abstinence. Sometimes abstaining can be difficult, but we quickly learned that it is worth the wait.
There are also several great relational benefits to NFP, perhaps the biggest being better communication. Because pregnancy is a real possibility each month—not just some distant future idea—we discuss things like our finances, job insecurities, future goals, and fears quite often.
There are plenty of other benefits I could discuss. I could go on about how NFP has taught me that, opposed to what our culture has conditioned us to believe, it is possible for us to control our sexual desires. I could explain how NFP has taught me self-discipline, to love my husband better, and to be less selfish. It has helped me see how deeply Mark loves and respects me and has provided me with a way to do the same for him. It has changed the way I view marriage and children and has taught me to trust God more. For us, NFP has been about far more than avoiding dangerous chemicals; it’s been about loving each other better and growing in virtue. The relational, emotional, spiritual, and health benefits of NFP have been such a blessing to both of us that I can only hope others will soon catch on to what has been a life-changing decision.
Additional Resources:
Embryo: A Defense of Human Life by Robert P. George and Christopher Tollefsen
Does The Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? by Randy Alcorn
Defending Life by Francis Beckwith
Ethics For a Brave New World by Feinberg and Feinberg
Biomedicine & Beatitude by Nicanor Pier Giorgio Austriaco, O.P.
http://onemoresoul.com/
http://www.ccli.org/
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/
http://nfp.marquette.edu/
Find an NFP training class- http://register.ccli.org/